Again I Go Unnoticed
by BlackSpark
Summary: Koushiro thinks about his position in the group and how the others see him. Despite the truth, in his own mind, the tale is filled with sadness.


A/N: This takes place after season one, NOT season two. It was kind of hard to capture Kou's personality, I hope it sounds good. Much thanks goes out to anyone who's reviewed me other story or reviews this one.

Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine..

**Again I Go Unnoticed**

**_By BlackSpark_**

I've always been misunderstood.

Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's because I never give too much of myself away for people to get to know me. Maybe it's because I've never had the best social skills, or I'm not friendly enough. Maybe it's because no one's interested enough to pay attention.

I suppose a lot of people feel this way; there are people who don't even understand _themselves_. I've never really felt like I don't know who I am, but then again, I've never really dwelt on it before.

It wasn't until after my adventure in the Digiworld that I started questioning things like this. I'd never really talked to a lot of people before then; usually I was content on my computer, I never cared much for the outside world. Suddenly, however, I was thrust into an unknown area with a group of people, and I had no choice but to socialize more than what I was used to.

I was the smart one of the group; the computer geek, the informer of information, the bearer of the Crest of Knowledge. At first, I didn't care all that much, I was fine constantly being on my laptop...but then something changed. I guess _I_ changed…or at least had more of my personality come out. I wasn't used to attention, and I hadn't cared before.

But then…I found myself caring.

I remember seeing the others laughing one day, all in a group, while I was off to the side, finding out some information on my computer. Suddenly, I wanted to be part of that group…to for once participate in a team, instead of wasting my time in solitude. Getting to know the others became more important than clicking away at a keyboard, looking at a one way monitor. Caring for people so strongly was a foreign concept for me…but yet, I found myself feeling it. My personality and emotions, once so underdeveloped, were beginning to grow.

But there was one problem.

No one noticed.

No one realized how I was beginning to change. They still thought I preferred the computer to anything else, not realizing I'd much rather spend time with them. I figured it was because I don't really show how I feel often, so I tried even harder to talk and have fun with the others. We beat evil together, discovered new things together…until I made a discovery of my own.

I was wrong.

For once, I was wrong. I thought I was one of them, completely part of the group. However, despite my continuing efforts, I still ended up becoming the one in the group who was always left out. I didn't have their more extroverted personalities; not Taichi and Yamato's friendliness, not Sora's motherliness, not Mimi's sincerity, not Jyou's easy to talk to nature, and certainly not Hikari or Takeru's adorable innocent personality. I soon came to realize I was the silent one in most conversations, the one no one really noticed whenever they were laughing or just having a fun discussion. I was simply the informer; I gave them the information they needed. Then, I was back to thinking of my ideas and opinions only in my own head.

I tried not to dwell on it too much; as let down as I felt, I still gave my best effort into helping the team. Part of me wished things would change. As far as I could see, they hadn't. It was the one place I thought I belonged in...and again, I was proven wrong.

In the span of our adventure, I became a different person, at least in some ways. Though it was obvious to me, no one else had seemed to notice. Tentomon was the only one I felt I could talk to, the only true friend I felt I really had. He seemed to be the only one who noticed me at all, at times. He saw my personality develop, while the others still remained blind.

They never saw how I changed…they never paid enough attention.

Maybe I'm being too dramatic, or just have my own case of teenage angst. Yamato and Sora both went through something similar to this, perhaps that's what I'm experiencing now. I wasn't completely left out in the cold-I did participate in some conversations, and they did listen sometimes. Unfortunately, that didn't happen as often as I would've liked.

Ever since then, I've wondered if I'm as important to them as some of the others. If I mean as much to, let's say, Taichi as Sora and Yamato do. Most of me is extremely doubtful about it. But the small part left, the caring voice that had begun to show itself in the Digiworld, is telling me to give them more credit.

Which one is right?

If this was any other question, I'd know the answer.

But it's not. And this is one problem I can't solve right now.

Maybe the reality of it isn't as bleak as I thought. Maybe it's just passing angst that comes with the teenage years. Maybe I'm the one who dug myself into this hole, the only one to blame. Maybe I'll discover I'm completely wrong.

I've never hoped for something so strongly in my life.

But until things change…_if_ they change…I'll go on feeling unnoticed.

I'm used to it by now.

THE END

A/N: That was a sad ending, ne? I hope I captured his personality, and if you don't feel I did, please point it out (nicely would be much appreciated) and tell me what you think I did wrong. Thanks for reading, please review!

Peace out.


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